Beautiful Lies- Part 2

That evening I’m prepared to break it all off or at least slow it down drastically. I walk in to a full home cooked southern meal, fresh flowers and my favorite tunes playing. He wants to explain some things. He had been living single for so long with no intention of reconciling. In most conversations he would say “when I was married” even this until I reminded him he’s STILL LEGALLY MARRIED. He tells me they have a written separation agreement and it will be very easy to turn that document over into a divorce decree and all of that can start processing before our winter travels begin and please let’s not break up.

I’m asking all the questions of why this was held from me and why not get a divorce after all this time apart and living separate lives dating others? The answers come as he assures me that it’s over and he’s made it abundantly clear that he and I are together and going back is not a concern for a litany of reasons, like they’ve grown apart, longing for two different kinds of lives, something bout just not fitting anymore like a trying to place a square peg in a round hole. There’s no commingling of assets or financial concerns, they are finally back to being great friends co-parenting. Supposedly, life happened and the paperwork of divorce didn’t become a priority.

As I reflected on many of my friends with blended families/spouses I accept the response with a side eye and ask to be respectfully kept in the loop on the progress as this weighs heavy on me and us. I’m plagued with headaches and so many questions, the answers are given but it’s still too much. I have my doubts that everything is above board now.

We’re back in the groove of things, there’s no indication of our plans changing as we prepare for an upcoming football fun weekend away in Dallas, romantic cabin getaway weekend, beaches in December and then turning up while away for New Years. We’re hanging around friends of his prior-but current-marriage, his children have an idea about me, and at one time we’re sharing my vehicle as his is serviced. So here I am thinking things really are cool, no one is stressing about their child riding in my car or used for carpool pick up and home drop off. It’s seeming all-good we’re going to get through this real smooth.

Anytime we’re away from each other we communicate via video chat for the mundane questions like are the dishes in the dishwasher clean or dirty, what do you think about this for dinner to serious matters about schedules, or I’d like your opinion before I make this decision and even his random I hope you’re planning to take my last name.

We are coordinated in our attire as he’s parading me around the streets from stage side intimate concert venues to front row seats at sporting events. No one can miss us, and even worse or better we are often stopped by strangers to offer compliments. One evening as we leave our dinner date some woman stops us for pictures, she noticed us at the restaurant and felt the night and our glow must be captured. Yeah we were that kind of couple that even random folks sent drinks to. We’d drop in to see his friends and dine out to celebrate occasions with others. So here I am thinking yeah everything is cool cause there would definitely be drama by now the way we are being seen by people she knows in these streets.

Eek, speaking of people we know. I must stop to say one brother saw us and made it a point to contact me later to tell me about the man I was seeing. He expressed his knowledge of my date‘s past infidelity and thought I should know. I assured him I was already informed. He respected that and said he would be amicable with this guy if we continue to go further, but otherwise he clearly has no love for that man. I will always appreciate him for that.

"O'er the ramparts we watched were so gallantly streaming?"

But we’re still in these streets having fun and planning all the details of our future together. This man wrote me a love song, then sang it to me live I WAS A TEARFUL ASS MESS as he sang about being so high in love he never wanted his feet to touch the ground. He’s asked for my ring size and preference on stones. We travel abroad on separate trips and are still in constant communication via that dang video chat. (Hold on that will mean more later). I’m abroad looking at art and of course ask for his opinion on which pieces to choose. I send pics and instead of choosing he sends the money for all of them with the caption “art for our home” I’m flatlined and surely by them all. I’ll figure out customs and transport when it’s time to come back to the states.

Shortly after, I’m back in the states and our routine becomes ritual. With an occasional twist where he sneaks home to bring me breakfast as I work or I take him lunch to his office.

We’re back to living life, planning trips figuring out matching tattoos and discussing how we are going to coordinate and consolidate our decor. He brings up the Dallas football trip again and says it’s a couple of friends and his not yet ex wife might be there. It might be awkward, maybe we won’t go. Then the closer we get to that weekend he’s wavering about this trip. Saying he did in fact promise her this trip for her birthday last year and he wants to honor that promise plus this will be a good time to really discuss the details of unraveling their marriage. I’M NOT FEELING IT and I express it in many ways. He makes an effort to assure me that he just needs some kind of ”closure”. We know how I feel about closure so I’m calling bullshit and my spidey senses are up. Also there’s a Christmas trip where the not so ex wife is taking the kid on and all of a sudden he’s not comfortable with his child being so far away in South America for so long. He brings it up every chance he can. I remind him we have a trip paid and planned for the same amount of time even further away in spring 2022 to Asia so what is he gonna do then? Yeah something is amiss.

"And the rocket's red glare, the bombs bursting in air,"

Dallas, he provides the flight and itinerary information for the trip as it gets closer. The morning of the flight we’re laying in the bed discussing what needs to be done for the cabin trip when he returns. I'm asking again if this is a last ditch effort to save your marriage, let me know so I can go. You already know the speech I was given..round peg, square hole or whatever.

So everyone is off to Dallas, I’m in his home on my usual routine. He somewhat checks in that evening but is rushed. He sends me pics throughout the night out and the hotel room and decor he knows I like.

The next day I video chat per our normal routine and he...come with me to part three