My name is Neesh and I was born on January 1, 1977. That’s right I’m a New Year Baby. Scratch that – I was a New Year Baby – I’m forty damn years old. Well I turned 40 while in Cabo San Lucas, Mexico. While away I decided I wanted to celebrate the entire year of 40 by committing to traveling each month. Yes, you read that right a vacation every month while maintaining my full time job. Some how I did it and I’m using this forum to relive the travels and well just get some of my thoughts into writing.
So I kicked off my 40th birthday in a foreign country with my ex.
The “surprise” trip was “preplanned” before our break up. Why am I using quotations? Well let’s just say the last minute nature of the events leading up to this trip, including the communication to me the night before the flight lead me to believe the trip was one of those last ditch efforts to win me back…again.
Yup AGAIN I said.
This was our second time around! This time we broke up a little over a month before the trip but were awkwardly still sharing a home together. The first time we dated a year prior we were only living in adjoining states.
So could you imagine living and traveling with your recent ex but current roommate? I mean we had known each other for over twenty years as college friends prior to dating. So it shouldn’t have been that taxing to end what I thought was going to be forever again.
But it was on the inside. I wanted to scream, yell and cry.
Everyone says I make life and love look so easy, especially the undoing part. But it’s not, especially when it’s someone you love dearly but just can’t get the relationship part of relating to work. And who gets to keep the friends when the relationship ends? Knowing who to trust and confide in during and after a break up is like playing double dutch with those you call associates. My friends on the other hand. I pretty much got that on lock. Well much better handle on that after this year. But that's another blog post.
Anyway back to Cabo San Lucas to kick off my celebration of 40! The views were beautiful from our little sleepy resort on the turbulent Atlantic Ocean. There was lots of sun to soak up during the day as we sat on the Tropic of Cancer, eating on the beach or whale watching from the lazy spot in the shade. I even made an attempt to conquer my fear of heights by zip lining! But let me admit at 5’2” even standing on a table can get scary. Now dancing on a bar top is a contrasting story for another blog entry. But it was very hard to be happy about celebrating my birthday and embarking on a new decade of my 40s knowing we were leaving each other in the past. You can't really discuss the resolutions or upcoming goals when they don't involve the person you had not so long ago made lifetime plans with! Doing so feels so cruel. So there was lots of silence and contemplation.